You know when I suggested recently that you should "get a grip" and find something valuable to do with your life? Like instead of playing Segway polo? Well, this isn't exactly what I had in mind. But whatever. And I know you're still pissed about me cheating you on the split of that thousand-dollar bonus back in the 1970s but come on, man. It's me. The Steve-inator. Remember? Call me, bro.