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Sunday, February 04, 2007

John Doerr's new company


Do you realize John Doerr now has a company called "My Asshole"???? Seriously. Check it out here. And like, okay, I see the accent mark, but whatever, I just hope it's not a category name next time Sean Connery is on Celebrity Jeopardy. And come on. Do you mean to tell me of all the possible names in the world, they couldn't come up with something that every teenage boy in the world wouldn't immediately make into a joke? Like did nobody on the team kinda look at the name and go, like, Uh, hey, dudes, we might have like a problem here or something. My theory is that they hired a consultant to develop the name and actually paid a boatload of money for it, and that the consultant was somebody who got burned by KP on some other deal, like cheated out of some shares on the Google IPO or something, and this was their way of getting revenge. Anyhoo, on the way out of the Clinton meeting I'm walking out with T.J. Rodgers, who by the way is a total right-wing dick but also a totally great dude, and I couldn't resist, since Doerr was standing there all shattered cause he really really wants to be Secretary of State or something. So I go, Hey, John, how's that company MyAsshole working out? He shakes his head and goes, Steve, it's pronounced mee-ah-soh-LAY. And I go, Seriously? Man cause it looks just like MyAsshole. I thought maybe it was a spin-off from MySpace or something. And T.J. goes, Yeah, is Ben still the CEO there? Ben Dover? Or is that pronounced Ben Do-VAIR? Doerr just smiles his tight little weasel smile and goes, Thanks for coming, guys. And when I got to the JobsMobile, no lie, somebody had keyed my door. Dick.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

YOU ARE SICK...MOTHA FCUKA..YOU ARE SICK AND YOU CANT BE APPLE....

11:02 PM  
Blogger Greg Smith said...

Didn't you know? Regular chardonnay and brie overdoses kill the brain cells responsible for spotting obscenities in adults making more than $1 million a year in capital gains. The only teenagers known to suffer from this problem were raised by nannies from Belize. There seems to be a correlation between the groups, but the statistics are skewed by early binge drinking, gourmet pizza, and trust funds.

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the best post ever.

8:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You made me cry I laughed so hard!!!!

8:58 PM  
Blogger Vedang said...

OMG there really is such a company...
wot a dick! I mean, this is what we get to read on the homepage:

Miasolé's Solar Cells,
Lightweight, Thin, Efficient—and Beautiful

Dear God! How do they get customers?

12:52 AM  
Blogger Mahua said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:19 AM  
Blogger Mahua said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:20 AM  
Blogger ShandaMgarza said...

omg so funny i had to go see and u are right it does look like it says myasshole

12:19 AM  
Blogger John Sylvain said...

Did you see the new drug for heartburn? Ass Effects?

4:15 PM  

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