Dear Malcolm Gladwell

The seventies called, and they want their hairstyle back. Dude, seriously, you are freaking everyone out with that Bernie from Room 222 hairdo. It's as if all the bullshit that can't make its way out through your fingertips onto the keyboard now is pressing directly out of your skull through your hair follicles. Maybe you think the weirdo hair makes you look cool, like some kind of Black Panther power-to-the-people revolutionary. Or maybe you think it makes you seem more Einsteinian and intellectual, like you're just soooo busy thinking big thoughts that you forget to get your hair cut. Funny, since you seem to remember to shave every day, and you even put on a clean shirt and a necktie. Malcolm, I love your books. I can even forgive you for using that butt-ugly piece of shit Windows machine. But dude, do something about the hair. Please.