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Friday, August 11, 2006

Whoops

So the guy who sells the 7-day Miracle Cleanse, Paris DeAguero, aka the Health Man, contacted me cause someone sent him a link from my blog where I was raving about the product. He's like wired up on a zillion cups of coffee or crystal meth or something and he's like, Steve, Steve, you love the product, right? Right? You love the product? That's great, Steve, that's great, wow, so write me up a testimonial, or I'll write it for you if you want, I wrote the others on the site but don't tell anyone that, anyway, Steve, I'll put your photo on my site, or you can come on the next infomercial maybe, right Steve? We've got Nick Lachey doing one. Can you believe it? Nick Lachey! You guys could do one together, you and Nick, yeah, you and Nick Lachey, wow, right Steve? Amazing, huh? Isn't it amazing? How much younger you feel? How much younger? I mean, wow, right? It's the herbs, Steve, the herbs, that's what does it, the herbs.

So I try to be nice. I'm like, Dude, I like the product. But I can't do an infomercial, and you can't use my name on your site. Okay? He's like, But Steve, Steve, I mean, it's right there on your blog, Steve, I mean, it's out there in the public, how about I just copy what you wrote, or I'll link to it or something, whatever, I know you're busy but help a guy out, cause I mean, Steve, you love the product, right? You do, right? Changed your life, right? So how about this, Steve, maybe we do something with iTunes, maybe we get a connection going there, we put an infomercial on iTunes, or do a podcast or even a video podcast with like some experts and some celebrity endorsers. Whattaya think, Steve? Like Nick Lachey, and don't tell anyone but supposedly we've got Ozzie Osbourne coming on board, poor old guy is so fried out on the drugs he just stays up all night watching infomercials and buys everything, can't stop himself, talk about someone who needs to get the poison out of his large intestine, I mean can you imagine what the lining of Ozzie Osbourne's GI tract must look like, Steve? Can you imagine what's in there? Toxins, parasites, pieces of old license plates. Makes you shiver. But whatever, in our case he says the stuff really works, first time he's ever bought anything on TV that worked as advertised. Beyond that, Steve, do you know what Ozzie told me? Steve, he says he feels ten years younger, just like you, Steve, just like you. So whattaya say? You'll get free supplies, of course, lifetime supply, all you need, Steve, just send me an address or whatever.

Hoo boy. El Jobso has really frigged up this time. On the other hand I am thinking about doing one more 7-day treatment right before the keynote. Just to be totally ship-shape sharp.

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